― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
These are some of the most honest and well-written words said, I do believe.
You know when you have a rough day and you allow yourself to simmer in negative and defeating thoughts about yourself or things in your life? I find myself swimming in these treacherous waters much too often and have allowed myself to become comfortable here/there. This is truth for many of us. Our brains can become wired to survive this way. But alas! Wires can be re-routed. Thoughts can be changed. Beliefs can be challenged. Reality can be revised.
I read the following several months ago and have saved it so I could share it...:
There's some evidence out there that trying to
accept unwanted thoughts rather than doing battle with them can be beneficial.
Here are the instructions from one study which found it decreased participants'
distress:
"Struggling with your target thought is like
struggling in quicksand. I want you to watch your thoughts. Imagine
that they are coming out of your ears on little signs held
by marching soldiers. I want you to allow the soldiers to march by in
front of you, like a little parade. Do not argue with the signs, or avoid
them, or make them go away. Just watch them march by."
Isn't it something how someone else can be talking to us about something going on in their life and we can take something out of it to apply to our own life? Some of my most significant "ah ha!" moments have come out of such encounters. For whatever reason, these "instructions" if you will, really made me stop and think about how I deal/don't deal with less than sweet thoughts.
When someone compliments us or praises us for something we've done, the acceptable response would be to show gratitude. However, for some of us, this seems impossible. It's easier and makes more sense to deny the compliment and find a quick distraction to avoid it at all costs. Let me tell you, I am so awkward when it comes to compliments. . I freeze and blurt something out completely ridiculous and off topic. "cortney, your ears are the perfect size (not a real life example) and could be in magazines!" me: "did you know that you can hug seals and otters if you go on a cruise?!" It's possible I had too many concussions as a child, but my brain is unable to process appropriate responses. I spend too much time thinking about the negative things people have said to me and let myself forget that the majority of them have had active drug addictions, personality disorders (featuring narcissistic tendencies, definitely), and many other DSM diagnoses that I won't bore you with.
The fact is, until we change the way we think and deal with situations/people/thoughts/feelings....we are going to continue to do what we've been doing/thinking/feeling. Seriously, I know, that was profound. But for real. Some people say really terrible things and we let those slimmy words stick to us so we can lean back and rely on them to keep us in our "comfort zone" of negativity. Unfortunately for those of you who despise change to the degree I do, change is the only way to resurrect our dignity.
When you google "beauty" the first image that comes up is the one above (girl with make up brushes). I was actually hoping the first one would be one of my dachshunds, but I guess someone in cyber space just wanted to irritate me. Being told you are beautiful might be one of the most supreme compliments in my book of facts. I correlate beauty with someone's heart...and if they shower/put lotion on dry skin. Beautiful people throughout my life have shown me how to accept and create peace within myself. I will never forget their faces, but their memory will forever make my life and tough days...a bit easier.
When I was parking in my normal spot at work today, there was a little red car parked next to me. A red cavalier, to be more specific. My nannie drove one just like it for many years because she said she could "whip around town in it". My heart was heavy when I pulled in next to this car...but I decided to see it as a happy reminder instead of a painful memory (after several hours of thinking about it and missing my nannie). Suppose that's life for ya. We change the way we look at things...or allow ourselves to continuously feel less than what we need/want/deserve/etc.
....and beauty:
:)
