"I want to be treated like a queen. Just not Marie Antoinette."

Here's the deal. I am not bitter about the "bad relationships" I've been in. I am not mad at the people who have hurt me because they knew they could. I am tired of allowing myself to feel those things. It's truly been a waste of time, emotions, and thoughts. I was sitting in church this morning thinking about someone who has recently stabbed me right where they knew it would hurt the worst....over. and over. Right after comments would be said, I found myself wanting to scream, cry, yell, or all of the above. I never did any of those things. I held it in. I told myself that maybe they were right. Maybe I didn't have any courage. Maybe I was weak. Maybe I was....just too much. 


but alas!


After several "episodes" of being told these things...by someone else..and then consequently by myself...I decided to do something about it.


It took a while, but I realized...how sad this person must be. How much they dislike them self. How jealous they were of my ridiculously fabulous dog family. 


So.


I decided every time the thoughts this person pushed even deeper into my mind came up, I would send positive vibes (yaaa mannn) their way. Tell myself that just because they decided to use my down falls against me, I couldn't continue to allow myself to do the same thing to myself...or to them. Where was it getting me? 


(Besides wal mart buying cucumbers to put under my eyes to de-puff those suckers)


When I was in Florida, a lady who worked at the place I lived was pretty on target when it came to relationships. She told me to make a list. a long list. of the qualities/etc that I wanted and NEEDED in a dude (a man, whatever). That was five years ago. I have never made this list...or really even thought about it. What does that make me? A giant chicken whos not had a head for years...and continues to wonder WHY does no one work out to my expectations? 


wait.


Expectations? Like......that they are going to end up being some ex convict who hurts puppies and steals ice cream from kids....?! Haha, seriously, my "picker" has not only been broken, but obviously absent...for some time. 


Don't let me fool you, not all of the bros I've dated are awful. Actually, some are still my pals....and were more "there for me" during this time of coping with the loss of my nannie...than my "friends". Who knew?


Now, after ranting and raving, it's time.


the LIST!


1. If you have a dog, it's understood that my dogs are of top priority...even though we will accept and love your Fiddo.
2. If you are an LSU fan, you will be asked to keep your Tiger gear out of site...unless it's at a bonfire :)
3. You must love ice cream...It's really boring sitting at a table and eating an entire carton alone.
4. My grandfather is more handsome, sweeter, more generous, understanding than you are. Deal with it.
5. Cats scare me..and you scare me if you have one. 
6. Chewing tobacco is for 1950s baseball players...only. that is GROSS
7. I am going to say/do REALLY embarrassing things. Don't be rude.
8. If you don't think talking about bloody surgeries, injuries/etc is neat...well, don't spoil it for me.
9. I don't care that you work out 2x a day and are gonna gain ___lbs of muscle. Seriously. That makes me think you are also judging my body all the time. Just entertain me with more important things. like..a trip to sea world. 
10. If Anderson Cooper or Tom Petty become available and want to marry me...they are kind of shoe ins...sorry :)




random post.....but hey, i planned my life with a guy who's name I don't even know today. He was at a 45 degree angle to me in church, and it was really a neat experience..for me. Weirdo? No. Optimist? Getting there :)




Have a great Sunday, friends!


Cortney