My first concert was the Boss, aka Bruce Springsteen, when I was 13.
When I was learning to
walk, my dad played primarily Tom Petty because I always got up and moved to the music...and eventually took steps. As I got a little older and was developing coordination skills (lacking), my
favorite songs were: 1. Runaway Train -Soul Asylum 2. Dancing On The Ceiling -Lionel Richie.
Music--GOOD--music has always been a major part of my life. My dad knows the year, title, album name, and band name of most all classic rock music. . and always tried to get me to do the same. However, I never really cared (still don't) about that; I just want to listen to the amazing lyrics,
beat, instruments, etc that come alone with.... *good* music.
When I think of ways to make me smile, I obviously think of music. Music is the doctor, no doubt. I feel bad for people who admit (ah, terrible) to never hearing Bad Company, Creedance Clearwater Revival (original CCR,yep), or 38 Special. HOW is this possible?! It makes me heart smile extra
big when the 7 year old I babysit (Anna, my mini me bff) sings to a Rolling Stones song she has
heard while going somewhere with me....bless her young heart, it's the only way to start out and she is such a little diva :)
I can't stand silence. It makes my head hurt. I love background music. I might be in the middle of doing something, but if a good song comes on....I am up, dancing, singing until my lungs beg for air, and *smiling* the entire time. Unless I fall off a table (it happens), and then I am momentarily
dazed....and you got it.... confused. :)
Everything I love, involves words. I think words are just a phenomenal thing. Adjectives,
especially. (Isn't it weird how adjectives are actually nouns....but also adjectives?! If you are
wondering, I think it's pretty neat). Writing, as you are probably learning, is the most peaceful
thing for me to do....while listening to music, that is. Currently, I am listening to "Shattered" -Rolling Stones. . .wait, now its's "Dreams" -The Cranberries. I can't pay attention to a TV show for very long....I get bored (unless it's the news or something about murder, drugs, psychology, or dogs....
is that weird? -nope!).
Besides music, dogs, and ice cream..... making things is my favorite.
I used to make jewelry...alllll the time. I loaned all of my supplies to my
mom when she was in the hospital for a long time, and some ladies stole them. How sweet, right?
I had 5 tackle boxes full of different colored/textured/what have you beads. Spend countless
hours making things. When I lived in Arizona, I had all of my stuff with me. . on Saturdays, some of
my friends and I would gather in the living room of our house and would complain about any non
sense that was happening (group of teenage girls, we always had something to say!) and just
thread beads through string....and it made everyone happier. One day, my friend Abby wasn't
paying attention, and knocked a couple of the boxes over...and thousandssss of beads went everywhere. Did I panic? YES. However, it was almost as therapeutic picking up each bead and organzing them as it was to make jewelry (ha). Abby was always trying to imitate my "Accent"(she was from wayy up north and said it was "cute"), dress like me, do her pony tail/knot/bun like mine, and even walk like I did (might have had a little limp from an accident...haha). I always thought she was making fun of me. I did not like it. It hurt my feelings. Until, the day she knocked my beads over. I was about to burst into tears about losing all the beads, until Abby said "oh Noooo!!! I am Soooo sorry, CortnAY!" in the most artificial Arkansas accent I do believe I've ever heard. it was
HILAROIUS. I don't know why that was our bonding moment, but it was.
And branching off from beads into the next section of my thought process...
For a week straight, several of us spent hours a day on the ground picking up teeeny tiny beads. I didn't even care about my beads. I was so happy to know she wasn't making fun of me. She actually just liked me....and wanted to be like me. wow, that was quite a revelation. I hated so much that I spent months disliking someone...who was just trying to be my friend....but all I could see was
my own insecurities within myself.
It's so crazy how we really do get most irritated with others when they do some of the same things we do, but we don't want to recognize our faults in doing these things...only others. Abby was so funny. talked allll the time. laughed really loud, but always contagious. she hated raisins (me too). she never did her hair because she just didn't care about impressing anyone. she loved her family. she was athletic. I wanted to be just like Abby. It irritated me so much that I couldn't be. When she tried to be like me, I thought she had lost her mind, because obviously she was much cooler than I. Abby was a very unhappy person. She was sick. very sick. Didn't listen to what anyone told her
to do to get her health back. Took matters into her own hands. Rebelled against her faith, friends,
and family. We talked and thought it was so funny that we each spend months so envious of each other...that we never got to really know each other. So is life. Abby and I were very similar and it
took me a long time to realize and accept that I should embrace those exact qualities in her..that I had, too. We learn to be happy with ourselves from within....but the people and places we take ourselves strongly impact our happiness. We learn who we are through the decisions we make, the
people we choose to keep in our lives, the ones we let go, and the hopes we strive to reach.
I had a rough morning. Mornings like today remind me of Abby. In 2006, after years of struggling, Abby died. She was only 19. I strongly believe that other people's lives are meant to be
testimonies. Whether they are living or gone, their life has a message and we are all supposed to
learn from it. Abby, was a firecracker. . .but was too unhappy with herself to love herself. I know Abby's life had a purpose on Earth...and it continues to, even though she's in Heaven.
Take a minute to love yourself. Do things that bring you joy. You deserve it :)
"You will quickly realize that peace finds its way much more easily to you when you smile"
Well I know, you know better
Everything I say
Meet me in the country for a day
We'll be happy
And we'll dance
Oh, we're gonna dance our blues away
And if I'm feelin' good to you
And you're feelin' good to me
There ain't nothin' we can't do or say
Feelin' good, feeling fine
Oh, baby, let the music play
Oh, oh, listen to the music
"Listen to the Music" -The Doobie Brothers ----
-Cortney
No comments:
Post a Comment